Yes, I love raw sex!
Gay men enjoy condom-less sex. It is not because they do not care about themselves or their health. It is because it feels good. Quit shaming people for their right to choose, especially when you are making the same choices. Sex positivity includes understanding and accepting that condom use is not the only safer sex option.
Most gay men are missing out on a lot of chances to have sex because they do not understand why people ask for bareback sex. Those who do enjoy raw sex often ask: “How safe am I?” There are also gay men who ask: “What if I have HIV, and people keep asking me for bareback sex? Do I just keep giving it to them? Granted, I will not necessarily infect them but how do I keep them safe?”
First, there is no shame in wanting or engaging in bareback sex. Most gay profiles in dating Apps have the option of displaying one’s sexual preference: bareback, condom-sex, or ‘needs discussion.’ It is ironic, because a lot of people on these Apps want to bareback. Those who pick ‘bareback’ or ‘needs discussion’ are often seen as vectors or out to infect others. There is no truth in this.
It is time we completely removed the fear of HIV from sex. I have no issue with having sexual intercourse with HIV-positive guys. If they are on ARV medication, and with undetectable viral load, it means they are un-transmittable.
Do not judge me. I am HIV-negative and I love bare backing. It is so intense that it is almost a spiritual experience for me. I have to admit I feel kind of guilty afterwards. But then the next time I have an opportunity to go raw, I do it again.
But as a sexually active gay man, I have the option of not just condoms, regular testing, but now, with PrEP, I can make rational decisions about sex and can minimize risk.
When I first went public about using PrEP, I was met with derision and slut shaming. I won’t B.S. you. After I started taking the pill and waiting a few weeks for the meds to kick in, I was out there shagging dudes raw like crazy. Yeah, yeah – I know I am supposed to be using a rubber but I just didn’t want to.
If you go on the hookup apps like Hornet or Grindr, at least around here, most all of the guys are shagging each other without protection.
I have heard a lot of people on PrEP say they tend not to mention it to strangers. I guess some people worry that those on PrEP are having condom-less sex and so might be more likely to have other STDs, but that’s not borne out by any data.
I make sexual choices everyday – from consent, to privacy, to the kind of partners I sleep with. With PrEP, that has become a much more informed – and happier decision.
#LetsGetReal for once!